


Konbini, convenience, and cats.

by RussianSunflower3



Series: BNHQ Boku no Haikyuu event!! [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Food, Gen, Stupid teens doing stupid things, Team as Family, You tried Kuroo, bnhq event
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 21:37:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19894741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RussianSunflower3/pseuds/RussianSunflower3
Summary: Nekoma volleyball club usually goes out to eat after a hard practice.That sounds a lot less troublesome than it actually is, consideringevery single one of themhas some kind of dietary requirement.Finding food they can all eat is a task more difficult than winning nationals.





	Konbini, convenience, and cats.

“Gather round!” Kuroo’s call brings practice to a close. Sweating and panting, the rest of the team drag their feet over to him, plonking themselves in a vague semi-circle in front of him. Kuroo observes them seriously for a moment before he flops cross-legged to the floor.

It’s been a hard practice. Even Tora looks ready to just lie down and sleep.

Or, judging from the rumble of his stomach, eat. 

“It’s been a long week and I’d say we’ve all done pretty good. So… Let’s go out to eat! Captain’s treat!” 

“Yes!”

“Konbini!!!” Lev and Tora practically jump to their feet despite their exhaustion, and Inuoka raises his arms in celebration. Fukunaga _hops_ onto his toes, still crouching. Before they can break for the gymnasium doors though, Kuroo is able to grab Tora and Inuoka by the backs of their shirts, Yaku instinctively knocks Lev back into place, and Kenma put enough weight on Fukunaga’s knees that he drops to kneeling.

“Hold it! Before you hooligans wreck havoc on our usual place…” Kuroo cautiously releases Tora and Inuoka from his grasp. There’s no telling what they’ll do without a leash when they’re tempted by food.

When they sit back down, Tora pouting with narrowed eyes and Inuoka tilting his head curiously, Kuroo rummages around the bag he’s strategically left by the bench.

“Ta-da!” He spreads approximately 30 leaflets for restaurants, cafes, and take-aways across the floor in a fan-like spread.

“We can narrow down our options from this!” Raising an eyebrow with a squint, Yaku picks up the closest leaflet and peers through dubiously. Kai peers over his shoulder, trying to zen out from the ridiculousness of this situation.

“Kuroo, we really _should_ just stick to the convenience store…” Kuroo waves a filipant hand at him.

“It’s fine! There’s tons of variety here, so we’re sure to pick one we can all agree on.” The third years glance over at their underclassmen.

Leaflets are flying.

Kenma - who both eats the least and is the pickiest - vetos leaflet after leaflet with a scowl of disgust on his face when he spots something he hates. Those leaflets get passed to Fukunaga, who turns them into paper airplanes.

On the other hand, Taketora just throws the leaflets over his shoulder and lets them flutter to the ground behind him. Shibayama and Inuoka are _trying_ to clean them up, but a paper airplane thrown their way by Fukunaga and Lev means they have to jog across the gymnasium every once in a while. 

Yaku and Kai fix Kuroo with deadpan stares.

“... Okay, I _will_ admit that bringing in 38 random menus was a liiiiittle irresponsible of me, but, uh, at least they’re being vigilant about our dietary needs?”

And _boy_ , does Nekoma have a lot of those. 

Ranging from IBS to allergies to autistic traits to personal beliefs, the dietary requirements of the team as a whole instantly make finding a place they can all eat at VERY difficult.

“Kuroo, you’re an absolute idiot. Other than a convenience store, where are we going to find somewhere that firstly, doesn’t serve bell peppers-”

“Or I will die.”

“ - because Kenma will apparently die, doesn’t serve gluten, because Fukunaga will actually die, has vegan options for Kai, entirely meat options for Taketora-”

“Or I’ll die from anemia!”

“Or he’ll _pass out_ , separates out all the food because neither _you_ nor Kenma will have it touching-”

“Because that’s gross, Yakkun. Why would I want curry sauce on my vegetables?”

“- and _secondly_ , will have halal for Shibayama? The only two of us here that eat anything and everything are Inuoka and Lev!”

“Actually I found out normal people don’t get ‘the red sweats’ when eating seafood! I’m mildly allergic!” Yaku drags a hand down his face at Lev’s cheerful announcement. Then, he holds his palm out flat towards the underclassmen, waiting for Kuroo to understand just how stupid this idea is.

“But Yaaakkuuuuuun, wouldn’t it be nice to go to an _actual_ place to eat for once? Not just the benches outside the convenience store?” Leaning over, Kuroo snatches away four leaflets from the pile before Kenma can instantly toss them out.

“I bet at least one of these will be our option.” Kai sighs, resigning himself to the fate of picking a leaflet to read through. Yaku decides his efforts are needed elsewhere and peels himself from the floor to try and control the chaos happening in the background. 

Lev’s comical screams for mercy are ignored. The team knows Yaku isn’t really hurting him, just putting on a show of aggression because he’s… Well…

(Kuroo called him ‘mother bear’ once. It did not end well.)

Kenma takes the opportunity to nap, having happily sacrificed every leaflet in front of him to the NOPE stack. Which… Is very small, since Lev and Fukunaga - who pouts after getting swat round the head - had turned it into the paper airplanes Inuoka and Shibayama are unfolding. 

Inuoka hums quietly, Taketora tapping along with his fingers on the wooden floor as he reads through a karaage restaurant menu. It’s not suitable for the team, but he can always visit it later with friends outside of the volleyball club.

Maybe even Tanaka and Noya, since it’s just two short train rides away from Karasuno.

“This one looked good until I saw the green pepper salad…”

“Yah, Kenma won’t even walk in there. He says he can smell them from outside and it makes him feel sick.”

“I hadn’t realised that Autism affected food perception that much before.”

“Oh, it’s a huge thing! ASD and food disorders are closely linked. A lot of people on the spectrum are either borderline anorexic, or at the other end of the scale. There’s also sensory issues, inexplicable hatred of some foods, and a reliance on the same meals over and over again.” Kai listens intently, letting Kuroo info-dump to his hearts content.

Last year’s captain had been wary about passing down the role to someone with Aspergers, but Kai, Yaku, and the three first years - now second years - had been adamant in their vote.

Kuroo had been nothing short of _delighted_. 

The first time they went out as a team to celebrate his captaincy, was an absolute disaster. That had been the day they found out every single one of them had special dietary requirements. They’d ended up just going to a convenience store and…

Had been going there ever since! It was a great solution, and they’d made some wonderful memories there. Kai can’t really bring himself to understand why Kuroo suddenly wants to go somewhere else, but then, he doesn’t understand why Kuroo does _half_ the things he does anyways.

(Who in their right of mind tries surfing on a plastic bag down a muddy hill in the rain? Kuroo does, that’s who.)

“Ah!!! I think I found one!” Kuroo valiantly holds up the chosen leaflet. Squinting, Taketora can just about make out the small print on the front.

“Tempura restaurant?” 

“It’s got a vegan section, meat section, there’s only seafood in the ocean section, and there’s even side dishes like plain rice if you’re not in the mood for tempura! Plus...” He turns the leaflet around to show them the inside, finger tapping over a halal certified sticker. Shibayama straightens up where he sits, beaming. Kenma, still dubious, scrunches up his nose.

“And bell pepp-”

“Absolutely none! Not red, green, _or_ yellow!” There’s a heartbeat of silent astonishment.

Is this- Is this for real? Could it possibly be true? Have they finally - _**finally**_ \- found somewhere they can all eat? It seems way too good to be true. 

“The map suggests we can walk there in half an hour…” Kenma groans, back soggy from where he’s flopped onto the floor with sweat coating him. Fukunaga pokes at his calves, and Taketora grabs his wrists to start dragging him across the gym floor.

“C’mon, c’mon! I want tempura steak! Tempura pork! Tempura _Wagyu_!!! My iron levels are dropping faster than my stomach!”

“Tora, that doesn’t make sense.”

“Fuck your sense, I’m starving!”

“Don’t be fucking _rude_!!” Yaku knees the back of Taketora’s knees, making him collapse to the ground with a strangled ‘gwerk’ of surprise. Fukunaga, as all best friends do when their best friend is in trouble, laughs. It’s only quiet snickering under his breath, but both Tora and Kenma _know_.

“Shouhei, save me.” At the emotionless, disimpassioned ‘plea’ from Kenma, Fukunaga pushes up from sitting cross-legged to scurrying _whilst doing the bridge_ at a terrifying pace on hands and feet towards Kenma, Tora, and Yaku. 

It’s _scary_.

Like, horror movie this-thing-is-not-human scary.

“What the fuck?!”

“How- How are you doing that?!”

“... That’s not natural.” A self-satisfied Fukunaga stands up in one smooth move, flipping a peace sign over his shoulder with a sparkle in his eye. Despite his mischief, he keeps a complete poker face.

“It’s not that hard, is it?” A little awkwardly, Shibayama pushes himself into a bridge, and then tries to crawl backwards, but he ends up wobbling and falling over with a squawk. Sheepishly, he rubs at the back of his head, cheeks flushed.

“Okay, it is that hard.”

“That was a great try, though!”

“Inuoka, don’t encourage him. We can’t afford two exorcists.”

“Can they be blue?”

“Kenma, _no_. That’s bordering on copyright infringement.” Kai watches as Kuroo and Kenma start bickering, back and forth with what he can only guess are references to something he doesn’t understand.

Exorcists??? Blue?? Why are they sad???

“All of you shut up! Kuroo, what time does that tempura place close?” Fumbling for the leaflet, Kuroo folds it, unfolds it, twists it all around, and then squints.

“7 at night. We have time, but we don’t really want to be _that_ late.”

“Wait, so we’re going for tempura?” Inuoka pokes at Lev’s ribs with a teasing grin.

“Where were you when we were talking about this~?”

“I was thinking of a jungle river cruise, finding a banana plantation, and throwing dinner parties there for the rest of my life~!”

“I don’t even want to know what goes through that boys head.” Tora snickers at Yaku’s quiet mumble, pushing himself to his feet. It doesn’t take too long for the rest of the team to follow, and soon, they’re traversing the streets in their uniform, having changed after a quick shower.

“Let’s see, let’s see… It should be… Right around that corner!” Kuroo points dramatically towards a tiny alleyway, dimly lit by two lanterns just inside the turn. Before Lev can rush towards it in hunger, Kai grabs him by the elbow.

“Are you sure? I trust you on the court, but when it comes to directions…”

“I read the map on the back of the leaflet, used google maps, and had this old tourist-y Marco Polo map lying around.” No one dares ask Kuroo where he obtained the latter of those items, but Shibayama shuffles forwards slowly and peers around the corner of the alleyway.

His expression brightens, a happy gasp escaping as he looks down what looks like the invitation to wonderland. The wooden walls leading to the restaurant - about halfway down the alley - are a mix of dark mahogany, the ordinary cedar, and light beech. It’s done so artfully, that the light from golden flame-lit lanterns refracts all along the corridor.

It looks _inviting_ , warm and comforting. Just outside the step of the restaurant where guests change into slippers, is a large sign of a piece of broccoli tempura being lifted out of the hot oil.

“Kuroo-senpai got it right!”

“I did? I mean! Hahaha, of course I did!” Yaku jabs him in the ribs, making him double over, leaving Kuroo to take the very back of the pack. That doesn’t mean they’ve left him behind, waiting outside the restaurant for him. Kenma and Fukunaga look over the menu on the wall, whilst Taketora chants ‘meat, meat, meat’ under his breath.

“Ne, Kuro?”

“Yeah?”

“ _Game over._ ” Kuroo blinks at Kenma, tilting his head to the side at having not understood the English. 

“Huh?” 

“ _Game over_.” Thankfully, someone on the team does know English pretty well, and Inuoka pokes his head out from behind Lev, who blocks the doorway like the giant he is, trying to take off his over-laced shoes.

“He said game over.” Baffled, the captain shuffles his way through past everyone else, bursting out on Kenma’s side and almost falling straight over the logo board, if Takatora hadn’t seen it coming and grabbed the back of his shirt.

Having forgotten his reading glasses - or rather, not bothering to grab them out the bottom of his bag - Kuroo squints to read where Kenma is pointing to.

“Maintenance work begins on… Blah blah blah… Now offer a small halal section, that’s great… Blah blah... Oh. _Oh_.” Kenma snickers at the expression that dawns on Kuroo’s face, especially as it starts to melt into pure defeat.

“Game over~.”

In tiny print, right at the bottom of the menu, is an extremely important message that wasn’t included on the leaflet.

_【☆】IMPORTANT: Please note that our business uses an original family recipe from the mid 16th century, and therefore is not gluten-free. Sorry for the inconvenience.【☆】_

“... Well fuck.” He claps a hand on Fukunaga’s shoulder as an apology. The second year might seem unphased, but there’s tension in his back and one hand lingers on the other’s wrist, his gaze turned downwards. He’s upset. Not because he can’t eat the tempura, but because the _whole team_ walked here, and now they have to turn back, hungry and aching with nothing to show for it.

“Hey, no worries, this was bound to happen wherever we went, with one of us.” As Kuroo’s speaking, Kai and Shibayama stray a little further from the restaurant doors, peeking out the other side of the alley. 

“We might have a solution closer than we think.” Kai crosses the road, going over to an unsuspecting building and looking around for something. Impatient, Lev and Taketora take off after him, whilst Yaku shouts at them to not get run over, and Shibayama waits for Inuoka to stop studying the golden lanterns.

Inuoka always has been entranced by anything gold or light or on fire…

(Kenma once joked Inuoka had pyromanic tendencies. After the Firework Incident™, they no longer joke about it.)

“We may as well check it out.” Kenma lingers in the shadow of the restaurant for a moment, not too comfortable with the sudden change of plans. He would have like _some_ warning, thank you very much. 

But then, he also has a tendency to wander, so he takes a deep breath, pushes off the wall, and strays. Kuroo is luckily right there to keep him on track and prevent him getting lost (again), so Kenma just dives into his own thoughts (again).

As they start to cross, Kai appears from round a tall bamboo plant, waving them over with a grin so victorious, Kuroo swears he looks exactly the same on court when they win a set. Yaku makes a soft sound of disbelief.

“You found somewhere?” 

“Not quite~... But close enough.” Taketora and Lev stand under a bus shelter, talking animatedly between themselves. Kai gestures towards it with a placid smile.

“This free bus will take us straight into the shopping district, practically on the doorstep of the largest convenience store this side of town.” Kuroo scratches the back of his neck, a mixture of sheepish and content.

“Guess that means more options, at least… Alright then, let’s get the bus!” 

In the end, they may have ended up going to the same _sort_ of place as they always did, but watching his team dig into their chosen food with laughs and smiles, talking amongst themselves, he wouldn’t change it for the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I only had 6 hours to write this, so I hope it's all okay~!
> 
> Please kudos and comment!


End file.
